Tag Archives: week four

Bleeding

Bleeding

Damn it. I am bleeding. I am trying very hard to remain optimistic and calm. But, the reality is that I am scared.

I had some minor spotting on Saturday then red blood on Sunday. No bleeding on Monday or Tuesday. I am bleeding again today.

I had an ultrasound on Monday. We saw a gestational sac in my uterus that measured at 4/5 weeks (right on track). There were no abnormalities observed. So, an ectopic prenancy was ruled out. One cool thing was that the tech showed us that my left ovary was responsible to releasing the egg that was fertilized.

I had blood drawn for beta HCG quant testing. On Monday the level was 3682 mIU/mL and today it was 7,066 mIU/mL. Those numbers are right in the healthy range and the rate of increase was ideal.

So, I have to take it easy. No heavy lifting or acrobatics. That is not a simple task when you are the caretaker and playmate of a wild and curious Marshall-boy. I will retest blood on Friday and have another ultrasound on Monday.

“There is no hope unmingled with fear, and no fear unmingled with hope.” Baruch Spinoza

Full of Joy

Full of Joy

A little seed of joy is growing within me. I am envisioning this little life in a very unscientific way. Instead of an embryo embedded in my uterus, I see a sparkle. A glimmering orb. Like the fireflies of my childhood dreams. The glow pulsates; a tiny heartbeat.

I send prayers and wishes that this little life grows stronger and stronger within me. That I will be able to hold within me this sweet one. That we will not have to seperate until we can look eye to eye and breath the same air.

Our loss earlier this summer taught me many, many things. One thing that I learned was that joy is never too “new” or “young” to share. It was and is a strage experience to mourn the loss of a little person that virtually noone else even knew existed. I decided that if I ever had the honor of holding life within me again, I would not hoard the treasure.

So, here it is:

I am pregnant! I am 4 weeks pregnant. I am ecstatic.