Our birth experience was truly beautiful. Adam and I have considered ourselves parents from the moment that we found out about Marshall’s conception. Here is our story. I had been experiencing prodromal labor for weeks. But, on Sunday, May 18th, I felt different. I felt ready. I sensed that the baby within me was ready.

Strong contractions began in the afternoon and I wanted to keep them going. So, I prepared for labor by applying oil of evening primrose to my cervix, having wonderful loving, deeply meditating, performing steady labor inducing acupressure on my hands and feet, rocking on my trusty exercise ball, cooking and eating some lovely high-protein salmon, spinach and quinoa, drinking copious amounts of water with Emergen-C , eating lots of juicy pineapple that My Love prepared, cleaning, dancing, taking Rescue Remedy and trying to rest. Adam and I watched The Kite Runner and had a good cry (Well, I cried. Adam’s eyes looked suspiciously moist. Perhaps it was just our allergies…).

I had no concept of time, during our birth experience. It was only afterward, during discussions, that Adam filled in the times and details. As is true in the other aspects of our life together, he was always there. Holding me, reminding me of lovely places that we have been to together, inspiring me, and keeping me hydrated. He was my birth guardian and his gorgeous eyes my focal point.

At around 10:00 pm, my contractions were very strong and regular, coming in 3-5 minute intervals. Adam packed up the car and we headed out for our 45 minute drive to the birthing center at Dartmouth Hitchcock. When we first got there I was examined by a nurse and then the on-call midwife (not the one I really wanted). My contractions had slowed to between 5-10 intervals, so the midwife told us that we should go home to rest. I was deep into Laborland territory, so I had to rely on Adam to be reasonable. He told the midwife that we would like to stay, due to our 45 minute drive home. So, I was given a warm blanket and told to try to rest, as much as possible. I could not rest. I felt the strongest urge to move, but I tried to conserve energy.

The intensity of the contractions made me feel sick to my stomach, so Adam helped me to the toilet. To our surprise, my water broke! I took a shower and Adam helped by cleaning up and walking back to bed with me. When the nurse came in to check on us, we told her that the bag of waters had burst. She seemed unsure, so she went and looked into the toilet and saw little flakes of the baby’s vernix suspended in the water. That confirmed in their minds that this was real labor!

We were transferred to a birthing suite, right next to one of the deep labor tubs. Adam suggested that we get into the tub. We spent the next two hours in that wonderful water. The lighting was soft, the walls were painted with wispy, Maxfield Parrish-like clouds. We were left alone to labor in privacy with only occasional visits from the nurse to check the baby’s heart rate. We listened to some soothing ambient/trance and Adam held me as we rocked in the tub. When I got too hot to stay in any longer, we got out.

During the two hours in the tub (I thought that we had been in for 20 minutes), my cervix had gone from 3 to 9 cm dilation and was now 100% effaced. I labored on the toilet, the rocking chair, the shower, the exercise ball, walking, swaying, squatting. I hummed and vocalized the whole time, finding that deep thrumming, hmmms, and ohms, were the most productive.

When I was ready to push, I tried the squat bar and then being on all fours. I was not comfortable with either of those options as I felt unstable on the bed. I was beginning to feels worn down. When the midwife left the room, the well-meaning nurse directed me to a supine position, with my feet supported by her and Adam and me pulling back on my knees. Classic movie labor position. I shut down completely, thinking “This is the opposite of what I feel like doing”. I knew that the birth outlet was now 30% smaller than when I was squatting. She asked if I was afraid of something and I began to cry. Adam said, “This is not how we envisioned it. She does not want to push while laying down.”

I had been attracted to the simplicity of the birthing stool and asked if I could use it. That was so much better. I felt secure and grounded. Ready to push, with gravity as my aid.

After pushing quietly for some time, the midwife told me that while this had been a lovely, tranquil experience so far, but that this was a big baby and I was really going to need to dig deep and PUSH with each urge. Adam held me under the arms, whispering in my ear and giving me encouragement.

Our midwife guided my hand to feel our baby’s silky little head, crowning. I found stores of energy and was anxious to hold my child in my arms. The midwife encouraged me to get louder, to grunt and growl. She placed her fingers on my perineum and told me to focus my pushing into her hands. I felt our baby really begin to descend. And with one long grunt and push, I felt the baby leave my body.

I reached for the slippery, blinking baby and pulled the baby up on to my chest. The midwife said, “See what your body can do! You have a perfect vagina.” I love that woman!

I looked down into the very face of pureness. The baby’s silky, dark hair swirled around a somewhat conical (I thanked the babe for adapting so much) head. Little cowlicks swept the hair. Tiny hands wrapped around my fingers as I pulled the baby to my breast, and said to this new, yet familiar face, “Hello, mini Adam.” The hairline and little face was so very much like my dearest husband’s. The nurse asked us if we had looked “to see what it” was. A perfect little penis indicated that we had a little son.

We welcomed Marshall Leif into the “outside” world. When his cord stopped pulsing and all the blood returned to his little body, Adam cut the umbilical cord that connected us. He brought the baby to a warm, lit area of the room to check him all out and recut the umbilical cord, it was very long.

While cuddling our little son, I delivered the placenta, our shared organ. It did not want to leave my body, but after pitocin, and coaxing from the midwife, it was expelled. She spread it out on a little table beside the bed and showed all the parts to us. What a fascinating thing!

Marshall was alert and interested in the world around him, right from the start. Lifting his head off of my chest and turning his tiny head toward Adam’s voice.

I am so thankful that we had the opportunity to birth in such a natural, holistic way. Childbirth is a profound rite of passage, not a medical event (even when medical care is part of the experience). I hope that sharing our story will encourage other women and their loving partners to explore all the possibilities, to take charge of their healthcare, to question the “norms”, and ultimately, to birth in their own way.

So, today is the estimated due date. I saw the midwives, yesterday. All looked good. It is always miraculous to hear the baby’s heat beat! My cervix was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced and the baby’s head is nice and low. The sutures on the baby’s head can be felt through the bag of waters. The midwife said that I was looking very healthy and prepared for labor any time. They cannot predict the date or time, so they do not even try.

The question was raised by her as to what I wanted to do if the baby was not born by the 41.5 week mark. They typically induce after that, because of increased risks to the mother and child. I do not feel comfortable with the thought of artificial induction. So, we agreed that an ultrasound and non-stress test would be performed at that point to check the amniotic fluid levels and the well-being of the baby. We would then decide how to proceed.

I did allow the midwife to sweep the membranes, in the hopes that that would move things along. She inserted her finger(s) into my cervix and swept from side to side, pulling the membranes (bag of water) away from the mouth of the cervix and the lower uterus, and in the process stretching and irritating the cervix. Sometimes this will generate local production of prostaglandins and enough of the necessary hormones to start labor. Sometimes it takes 3 or 4 attempts to begin labor. Many women find this to be a very uncomfortable, if not painful, procedure. I felt fine during the procedure with a cramping coming later in the day.

I have been drinking red raspberry leaf tea, throughout my pregnancy and have increased (in the last week) the concentration and frequency so as to prepare my uterus for a nice strong, smooth labor. Red raspberry leaf tea is a uterine tonic used by Native Americans for thousands of years. It tones your uterus by helping to “focus” your contractions. Its job is to help my uterus do more effective exercising. It does not “cause” contractions and can be safely used throughout pregnancy. It is contraindicated for those having complications “just in case”, however, by most doctors who do not understand its use. Many women safely use it from the moment they learn they are pregnant at six weeks until months after delivery. It helps to tone the uterus after delivery as well, shrinking it back to size more quickly and reducing bleeding.

I am also now taking evening primrose oil, in the hope that that will further prepare my cervix to stretch. Evening primrose oil is an excellent source of prostaglandins, which readies your cervix for labor. From my research, I found that it can be taken orally as soon as 34 weeks, and can be applied directly to the cervix at full term (36 weeks). The general recommendation is two 500mg capsules per day until week 38, at which time you increase to 3-4 per day. The entire capsule can be inserted vaginally (inserted just before bed, it will dissolve before the first time you wake to use the bathroom), or you can use the oil on your fingers for your perineal massage, then also rub on your cervix (assuming you can reach it). Applying directly to the cervix is optimal, but the beneficial ingredients are absorbed through the external skin or the stomach also.

So, the waiting begins. I cannot wait to hold this loving baby in my arms. To see the baby in Adam’s arms will be the sweetest gift of all. A reward without measure.

My body has everything my baby needs.
My body knows how to give birth.
My baby knows when to be born.

About three weeks ago, the baby migrated and its head came to rest in my pelvis. (The baby is engaged. Thank you baby! You are just where you need to be.) Along with that shift came some discomfort for me; swelling feet and legs, a pea-sized bladder, and pressure! Lots of pressure. As Leslie so aptly put it, “like a cement filled beach ball”. I was dealing with it by walking and stretching, regularly.

My cervix is now taking the brunt of it. The last week has been pretty intense. Regular contractions that do not go away and do not get closer together. So, I am stretching, breathing, hydrating, and resting. I have begun my leave from work. I find that I am better able to cope mentally and physically. I do not want to go into labor all wrung out. I feel like this miracle must take precedence over my work.

The last visit to the mid-wives (4/25) went very well. Micky was palpitating my impressive belly and said, “You have a big, healthy baby in there. Here is its head and here is its bum. My goodness… Probably seven and a half, eight pounds, already.” We then talked about family birth weights. So, my Bumpy is big one. No peanut for me. I went back through some of the baby clothes and realized that this babe will not even fit into many of them at all!

I attempt to approach life with my eyes wide open. So, naturally (no pun intended), I began reading and digging about as soon as Adam and I found out that we were going to be parents. I knew that we would have to look outside the local hospital system to find practitioners that were on the same page as us. So, we contacted the birthing center at Dartmouth to find out what they had to offer. We found that they have a team of nurse-midwives whose approach to pregnancy and childbirth is a welcome change from the typical, sterile, inhospitable, profit-driven American hospital. They sum up their approach by saying that they view a normal pregnancy and childbirth as a natural part of a woman’s life, not a medical situation.  

My birthing plan is to not have one. What’ s the adage? Plans are made to be broken? That being said, I do have some strong opinions that will not change. I do not want to be given an epidural. I do not want to be induced, artificially with Pitocen. I want an active labor, not tied down with tubes and monitors. I do not want to attempt to birth laying on my back. I want Adam to be by my side, as involved as he wants to be. I want to use natural, time tested methods; a birthing stool, chair, squatting, kneeling, walking about, a birthing chair, ball, and tub. I will expound on these thoughts in my next post.

Adam and I just watched the docufilm, The Business of Being Born. What a powerful movie. I think that it is a must see for any future (expecting, hopeful, or just fertile human) parent.

The fact that women are herded about and misled by the AMA is not some shocking news item, for me. But, the facts presented in this movie are unavoidable. We should be enraged, yes enraged, at the way that we are just expected to just take it laying down, as American women. It is time to educate ourselves on what the real options are! It is time to stand up the insurance companies and our doctors and remind them that the power lies within us, that we do not need them to tell us the right way to give birth.

Anyway…that is a must larger subject. I will continue on this rant on another date.

We had a scare yesterday afternoon/ evening. Contractions with cramps and backache began at about 1530. I drank two or three glasses of water and laid down on my left side (as instructed by my mid-wife at my last appointment), and tried to wait it out for the recommended hour. They did not subside. I thought that the “drink 24 oz. of water and lay down” instructions were particularly humorous…What I really did was drink the water, lay down, get up, go the bathroom, lay down, get up, go the bathroom, etc…for about three and a half hours. We finally decided to call in and get some advice at around 1930. The on-call doctor asked how the contractions were spaced. I told her they were about 20 minutes apart. She explained Braxton Hicks contractions to me. She told me that if there was no bleeding or uncommon discharge, that if I could rest/sleep, and that if the contractions were not more than six per hour, that all was normal. So, I am normal (in this department)!

Our child tumbles about within me. Reminding me of what is real, what is important. I love to “hold” this child. I can watch the movements beneath my skin, now. My belly bulges as the child rolls about.It responds to my laughter. Whether it can sense my joy, or is awakened by my belly laughs, I am not sure. I think that it already has a sense of humor. It will be bumping about, merrily. When I take Adam’s hand and place it over the movement to show him, it will become quite still…