Emotions Pregnant

In The Family Way

I am five weeks pregnant. The estimated due date, based on date of conception is September 5, 2011. Labor Day! Joy shines bright within me most of the time with trepidation wafting through, a bitter haze.

I have all of the reassuring pregnancy symptoms including extreme fatigue, nausea (if I allow myself to go too long without food), a strong attraction to all things sour, and breast tenderness when nursing Marshall. I do not mind these discomforts when they occur during the course of a natural, healthy pregnancy.

I have eliminated all forms of caffeine. Boy did I miss my cuppa for the first few days. I never miss chocolate or alcohol. But, tea and coffee are really hard to give up at first.

I am really focusing on enjoying pregnancy today. I cannot change the course of things by worrying or imagining what could go wrong. I want this baby. I need this baby.


A Glimpse

Today, Adam and I had our second glimpse (via ultrasound) at the blossoming life within my womb. I am both humbled and elated. I took the remainder of the day to contemplate my role in this child’s development, my role in the journey of a new life.

We have elected to keep the sex of our unborn baby a mystery. A decision that seems to boggle most of our friends and acquaintances. It seems as though we live in a time with so few mysteries. Our lives are lived in full exposure. We want to be able to hold on to the element of surprise in that one area.

I am 129 days (19 weeks) into my pregnancy.  Our baby is 5-5.5 ” long and weighs about 5.25 ounces. When I lay down to sleep and when a wake up, I feel “fluttering” movements in my growing belly.