I've lost, again.

Thank you, my ephemeral firefly, for growing within me. Thank you for allowing me to have hope live within me again. Thank you for sparking my imagination.

I saw you in my mind and with my heart, laughing and playing with your big brother, your little rolls soft in the sunlight. I could almost smell your soft skin. I will see you in my dreams, again.

It is times like these that I envy the faithful. Those that can say that it is all planned, that a spirit lives on somewhere.

This evening, I miscarried at 6 weeks 1 day.