Numb

I've lost, again.

Thank you, my ephemeral firefly, for growing within me. Thank you for allowing me to have hope live within me again. Thank you for sparking my imagination.

I saw you in my mind and with my heart, laughing and playing with your big brother, your little rolls soft in the sunlight. I could almost smell your soft skin. I will see you in my dreams, again.

It is times like these that I envy the faithful. Those that can say that it is all planned, that a spirit lives on somewhere.

This evening, I miscarried at 6 weeks 1 day.